Now I just need everyone to bear with me while I handle this the best I can. It's not that I'm not excited, I am. I just have at least the same amount of fear as I do excitement...maybe more. I made my game plan to handle this and thought I was doing really well and then Sunday night I had the worst anxiety attack of my life. So bad, that even though I knew it was likely anxiety, I went to the ER just to be sure it wasn't a heart attack or something. It felt like something. Chest pain, back and neck pain shortness of breath. It definitely had me worked up. Sadly, after 7 years with Clayton I've just been traumatized. And yes, that's different than crazy because I have a lot of really good reasons to have been traumatized. I feel a bit like damaged goods. Thank goodness the OB's office called me in something for anxiety (safe for baby of course) at my request. Praying that helps. Because anxiety and stress will make it harder to successfully carry a healthy baby. And despite all my fears I LOVE the idea of Clayton getting a buddy. So I am excited, truly. I just have to work through the fear too. I think once we past the point of finding out the gender I will be much better off. It was before that point that we found out Clayton was going to have medical issues, so if we can pass that point free and clear I think I will be able to breath a little easier.
Also thank you to our friends and family on Facebook and all their enthusiastic congratulations!
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