I was watching Grey's Anatomy tonight and it's an episode people should watch. It struck close to home to me. There is an important lesson: change is necessary. Firstly, standard care sucks and even if it is efficient in the beginning, it is not effective, which completely voids whatever efficiency it was designed for. When you or someone you love is going to be treated at a hospital ask them if they practice generalized standards of care or if they tailor treatment to the patient. It makes all of the difference in the world. The question is when, how much and what good is change without heart? The "way we've always done it" doesn't always work, but nor do "protocols". It is those excuses that lead us to seek out MSKCC. MSKCC has succeeded in saving many, many lives because they don't settle for those excuses. They treat the person individually and they chose to be innovative. And as a privately funded hospital, they obviously make that approach work for them from a business standpoint as well.
It is those concepts that have put them on top. It's kind of like my uncle. For those of you who know who he is, then you know why my family pays close attention to Apple. Recently there have been reports of Apple's stock falling, but all my mother could say was "I'm not worried, that man is too innovative and too determined to fail". Those two concepts drive the world and they will continue to drive the world for the rest of our lives. One without the other is not successful, it has to be the combination. It is that combination that saves Clayton's life every day. And the thing is that innovation touches everywhere: his back, his kidney, his cancer, his recovery...innovation will determine his life span. God gave me the most beautiful baby in the world, but he needs help from time to time and that help requires innovative doctors and those doctors have to have the determination and drive to develop those techniques.
It's sad when people pick on others and it's sad when they lie to avoid change or to deny the inevitable. And it's just pathetic when you see some one that should be above that behavior disappoint you by telling a lie at the expense of others. It's sad and even though they allow their own insecurities or failures to hurt other people it says a lot more about them than it does about the people they are willing to hurt. I will never again trust that doctor I had that falling out with last year. She denied proven facts and fabricated stories at the expense of my family knowing that the man she was telling them to didn't know any different and it came down to her word against mine at that time. She would rather tarnish my credibility than own up to her own faults. That's a coward. Funny thing is that I have overwhelming proof from the leaders of COG made as far back as 2009 to prove her wrong; I just haven't felt like dealing with it anymore. I know the truth, the people I love know the truth and some of her coworkers know the truth. So she can walk around that hospital smiling all day, I know who the better person is and I can sleep better knowing that. In this case, my willingness to find the best treatment options and not settle for the way things "use to be done" saves Clayton's life. So she can keep pretending to others to be anything she wants, but I know and people can't hide their true colors forever. I want nothing to do with her and will try to avoid her.
I could be a better person in a lot of ways...a lot, but at least I can truthfully say I try to be as real as possible. I might get shy or reserved or not always know how to talk to people or I might get snappy, but I'm real. I don't pretend to be a Saint when I'm a sinner. I'm flawed and I own it knowing I have plenty of room for improvement every day. I can be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend and co worker. My biggest fault is that I (quite passionately) want the world to be a better place and where things can be done fairly, I think they should be; I am but a young grasshopper and quite naive about these things. The realities of these things are something I learn the hard way all the time. I am most proud that despite any hard lessons I have heart. I have heart and know that no matter what I do in this world, whether it is fighting for my son or building a career, I will not purposely do anyone wrong and if I do someone wrong unintentionally I will try like hell to fix it. I learned a number of lessons the hard way growing up, but they all led me to a point where I could be this person. A person whose core values I could be proud of. A person who needs to work on the every day, but has a good, honest, hard working base to spend the rest of my life building off of. A person who is open to change if it makes me a better person and leads to positive changes around me.
That said one of the people I have to really thank is my mother. She is the one person in the world that I can really tell it like it is, no sugar coating ever. She probably gets the worst of me and yet loves me the most. She has always been there...always. Trust me, even when you tell her to go, she usually stays. And even if I could figure it out without her, she purposely tries to avoid making me have to. She drives me nuts and I drive her crazy, but it works for us (most of the time) - though we do hurt each others feelings or make each other very mad at times. She is a rock. A beautiful rock. I had somebody tell me a story once that she would give their son a ride home from the Exceptional Foundation where she and the wonderful Mr. Ricky Trione work. She would tell them it was on her way and she was happy to do it...it wasn't on her way. This has been just since Clayton's had cancer (in other words possibly the busiest time of her life) and until this person told me that I never knew. I wonder how many more of those stories there are out there? And she is the type of person that will never tell those stories and probably tell me "take that off of there", but I won't. She deserves the praise. She puts on a "happy face" to help care for other people when she's sick, hurt and tired. Anyway, I know my family appreciates her more than they say, my grandparents should be very proud and her grand babies are so lucky to have her. We love you ViVi!
P.S. I am very behind on thank you's and graduation gifts and baby gifts; one of those many flaws that needs my attention. :) I hope to catch up and this was my #1, most important thank you to make, but I do hope to get to thank so many others for their kindness to my family. We are so appreciative to the many wonderful people in our lives. We could not be where we are without y'all!
One more P.S. I came across this picture the other day; it is a testament of how far we have come and y'all have helped us with that. The first picture is the end of July and the second is the drive home from the airport a week ago.
your mother truly is a God send! She is my mentor and your sweet family and precious Clayton are an inspiration. prayers as always!
ReplyDelete