I am always telling George or my mom to just trust me, believe in me, have faith in me. I suppose now it is time for me to have faith in God in a way greater than what I have shown in the past. It has always been easier for me to look to science when I needed answers. After all, science is about problem solving. The idea of being disappointed by the outcome of Clayton's health and blaming God, was hard for me. I didn't want to hate God for failing me or taking my son from me. Then I heard something that did not make me fear the future less, but it did make the idea of the worst a little more bearable. Someone was talking about asking God, "why, why would you take my child from me?" It was to this that someone responded, " but He did not take him, he received him." It was a new way of thinking about the pain of losing a child...for me. It helped me.
Anyway, two things throughout this journey and even my life have had a profound effect on my faith. One is the above story, and the second is my sweet friend Elissa. Watching her unwavering faith even at the lowest moments of her child's treatment was amazing. She and her husband were told they could only buy Matthew a little more time and yet their faith was unbelievable! They fasted, they prayed, they hoped. And Matthew whose boney disease had been unresponsive to chemo saw MAJOR improvement! So much that they are now home again waiting for their next treatment with good reason to hope for NED. Elissa's faith is inspiring. I love her, I love Matthew and am so honored to have met them.
All of this brings me to my faith. When to hold on, when to hope, when to take chances and find the right time to leap. I have faith in myself, I have faith in my abilities, I know I am good at certain things, yet leaping is scary... But it's about having faith that things will work out if they are meant too. The same way I ask people to trust me, I have to let go and trust God more. I have to trust that hopefully He won't let me fall on my face; though it wouldn't be the first time. ;)
So here I am with my foot hanging off the edge, with faith that this is the right move and sense to know that it is a good idea; ready to dive in. The new project for the George Clayton Childhood Cancer Foundation:
So excited to start giving back and doing more to help save babies!
SO excited! We will start accepting donations April 1st. I'll be back with more information later. Still tying up the last minute business side of things!
Did I mention I was happy about this.....
Oh, and we are going to make t-shirts for the foundation if anyone is interested! I am still working on the final design.
No comments:
Post a Comment