April 24, 2013

Every couple of days I have a break down about how our family is going to make things work without me working. I am working for the foundation of course, but it could be a while before that is a paying job. Obviously the hope is that the foundation will be able to get grants and such from companies like Walmart or Target or local trusts that would cover any overhead including a salary for me (set forth by our Board of Directors of course). The point though is that for now, it's going to be tough. I keep trying to remain strong in my belief that God will provide knowing that we are trying to devote our lives to something bigger then well, ourselves. But this weekend I was having a hard go of it. Talking about selling our house and this, that and the other. Pressure. Lots of financial pressure. Anyway, I came into the store on Tuesday and I could not have planned a better day to help pick me up out of my funk. We had donations from some Quail Creek residents-post their neighborhood yard sale- and then God sent me an angel that really really boosted my spirits. Her name is Lucy Buffett and she sent THREE truck loads of things to the store. For me this was kind of my "hang in there, this will all come together and work out" sign. I know I am doing the right thing with my life, but it's scary getting started. Any little bit extra George and I had, we invested in the foundation and what it stands for because we believe in it with all of our hearts. But its scary. Leaping is scary and over the past few days two things happened to really reassure me and keep my faith hanging on. Lucy Buffett bringing us three truck loads when doubt was trying to set in and most importantly was the passing of Connor to cement in my head why all if this fear is worth it. Connor was almost 12 and had been a neuroblastoma warrior for almost eight years. More than half of his life was spent fighting this horrible horrible disease. The last few months have been horrible on his family and especially on him. His poor body was riddled with cancer and suffered the pain of the disease daily. Every day was a little worse. The tumors started causing seizures and eventually, he spent most of his days in a medicated and pain induced sleep. He and his family should not have had to endure that. That is what the foundation is fighting for. To help kids like Connor, to spare them any moment of pain we can, to spare their families...to be a part of saving these childrens' lives. I feel honored be a part of this world because as painful as it is, these children can show you a beauty you never new existed. I know hearing about what these kids go through is tough, but sheltering the world from those facts is an injustice to these kids. The world needs to know their stories, their pain, their truths. Maybe then the world will work harder to try and save them.
My heart breaks for Connor's family and the world for losing such an awesome kid. My hero, Connor from South Africa:

You can google Connor Gerber Caringbridge to read more on his story if you would like.

Connor Gerber

June 27, 2001 to April 19, 2013