August 4, 2012

I am really at a loss of what to say. I have a bazillion things going through my head. Truthfully, I am not so much at a loss of something to say, as I am finding that there is so much to say, I have no idea where to start.
I guess I'll start with home. It has been so nice to be home. It always is nice; but definitely never dull...I went to the dentist for a filling and walked out with a pricey crown because insurance won't cover it until after January; but what are you suppose to do when your in the chair and you have a huge hole in your tooth and have to make a decision? You make the choice that you think will leave you with the least discomfort. So I traded a hole in my tooth for a hole in my wallet. THEN we noticed the dog was acting funny. Slowly she stopped eating and drinking and even moving much. Come to find out she had pancreatitis. So after an overnight stay at the vet, some IV fluids and some antibiotics later, she is recovering with George's folks. On the flip side, I had an amazing dinner with a dear friend. Getting to relax with good company is rare these days, so that was a real treat. I also got to do more purging! Yay for de-cluttering the house...it feels so good! AND I met with some ladies from the BCBE about Clayton's preschool; starting August 20th he'll go three mornings a week! I'm hoping he can go to the Learning Tree the other two mornings if they have room...?
The question remains what do you do knowing you are about to face one of the toughest weeks of your life? You try not to think about it. You find your self more irritable than normal and trying not to take your frustrations and fears out on every one else. For months you have been trying not to take your frustrations out on others or to project your fears onto other things. It is a battle that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. You obsess about things- things with work, things with home, personal goals, all kinds of things- all just trying not to think too much about it. At least that's what I do...did...have found myself doing. But now it's time and I can't ignore it or continue to talk about it like it is just another "means to an end". It will be my reality every day this week and in a month I'll have to do it all again...
For now, the kind folks at Dove were sweet enough to give me some inspirational messages throughout the week...