Fading

My heart is aching...

Watching people you love grow old is hard.  I'm mean it's wonderful...and I would rather grow old myself and watch others grow old than be faced with the alternative, but it's sad.  It's wonderful they have had a long full life, but it sucks knowing there won't be many more conversations or any of those special moments you know them for.  Normally I would not post about a specific family member, but I know this one doesn't use internet so it's safe for me to post.  This is my PawPaw...

He's still with us. But he's fading.  He's 87 and is the most wonderful man.  He has always had a good attitude about life and is one of the hardest working men you ever met.  To this day he is still fairly active (particularly for his age).  He has remained pretty well off physically and has only had a very slow decline over the years...until now.  He is starting to get more and more confused and have some falls.  I've watched two great grandmothers grow old, so I know how this goes.  My PawPaw might have a number of years left, but they will not be the same.  It is so tough to watch this man I love so, fade from the man I've always known him to be.

What's even tougher is that I know this is just the beginning.  I have been one of those fortunate people who still has all of my grandparents.  In my lifetime, I've even had three great grandfathers and two great grandmothers.  And while I haven't polled anyone, I think this makes me more of the exception than the rule.  It means though that you have the opportunity to get to know those who have reached/are reaching that stage of life that is both wonderful and trying.  Growing old is a gift.  A glorious gift too many have stolen from them.  So for the ones fortunate enough to grow old, it is a gift from God that should humble you and fill you with love and appreciation.  But it is a gift that comes with challenges.  Growing old is hard.  It's hard for the individual and hard for the loved ones around them. 

So I am beyond grateful I have had the past 30 years to get to know this man and even more appreciative that he and Clayton had time to get to know each other.  And now my heart is just aching as I watch him forget or confuse more and more.  Every visit right now, I see changes.  And I'm pretty positive my PawPaw is the greatest man in the history of forever and I am just devastated right now at the idea of losing him physically or mentally.  He holds a special place in my heart that no one else even comes close to...Sorry mom, sorry George.  He is the best kind of human being and if everyone was more like him the world would be a better place.  Can you say pedestal?  But he deserves to be there.

Obviously, I've had a tough weekend with this...and then with all the terror stuff going on posting about my house seemed a little silly.  So for now I'll plan on resuming house posts next week.  

So turn off the TV and the computer, log off FB or whatever social media bug you've been struck with, put the smart phone down and go love and appreciate the real people in real life that you have been blessed with.  No one will be here forever.  

No new medical news right now.