My personal funk has been worse because I have been working through my "losing Clayton" anxieties. There are four kids out there right now that I know about who have lost their battles to neuroblastoma and are slowly fading away before their families' eyes. Another recently passed and others I don't know are passing every day and it has all brought my anxieties again rushing to the surface. Plus we are getting close to our one year scans and aren't currently doing any treatment for the neuroblastoma and the last treatment we tried to do was a bust. I guess this is what the next few years will be like for us. Always dreading the worst.
One of the things that is helping bring me out of my funk is thinking about our health and future plans. This is also something we are doing to try and keep Clayton healthy on a daily basis. Cancer forced us to take a closer look at what we are putting into our bodies and especially Clayton's. I've been very disgusted by what I've learned. Looking to the future, one of the reasons I am so willing to move out of the city is so that we can one day have our own little homestead for our family. I want us to be able to grow and raise as many of the things we are putting in our bodies as possible. For example, there are hormones that are in our typical store bought beef that research as shown has cancer causing carcinogens. For that reason, those hormones have been banned in most places in the European Union. They have the science to prove the harm caused by these hormones and chose to use it to protect consumers' health. Our country as well as Canada have yet to show us that same compassion. Clayton doesn't need any extra cancer-causing anythings so we are trying to protect his health through what he puts in his body as best we can. Since Clayton's diet consist of a lot of hotdogs, we buy him organic hormone and antibiotic free hotdogs. As for the beef problem, George is a hunter, so every hunting season we stock our freezer for the year which gets us around that beef problem. There is more and more grass-fed beef out there though! Industrialized beef production is a disgusting process and not at all natural. As well as the industrialized production of chickens and pigs. It is so simple to walk into the store pick out our food and never give a second thought to what is behind the process to get that food on those shelves. Don't misunderstand, this has nothing to do with giving up meat, only encouraging the practice of consuming healthy meats from animals raised naturally. Which brings me to a question for all those that call themselves Christians. God created the earth, the animals and man; isn't it reasonable to assume that God wants us all to respect the earth, its animals and ourselves? Just a thought. I challenge any of you to watch Frankensteer or A River of Waste or similar documentary and then tell me you think God would approve of the practices being used in industrialized meat production. As Christians, isnt it our duty to care for all of God's creatures. Yes, animals are going to be raised for slaughter, but should that mean they don't deserve a natural humane existence? So if we know God would not approve of these practices, then wouldn't his will be to work to change the process of mass meat production? So as Christians who are suppose to be doing God's will, what are we doing about this? The crazy thing is that by correcting this HUGE flaw in our system, we would also be making ourselves healthier by removing the added antibiotics and hormones and risk for diseases like e-coli and mad cow disease. Seems like a win-win to me.
And what does all of this have to do with Clayton? Well, we don't know the cause of his cancer. We just know he has a genetic mutation. What caused that mutation we don't know, but we know he had neuroblastoma growing in his body and we know some of those cells are likely still there. We don't want those cells to again start dividing causing the cancer to grow. For that reason, it would be reckless in my opinion if we knowingly fed him products that science has proven harbors carcinogens that encourage cancer growth. I do not believe that industrialized meat production processes caused my son's cancer, but I do believe that the hormones and antibiotics they use in those processes could encourage any existing cells to again grow. I would have to be an idiot to put him at that risk more than necessary. Clayton's main diet is hotdogs, burgers, apple jacks, apple sauce, spaghetti, milk and apple juice. He drinks Horizon Organic milk, Publix Greenwise Organic Apple Juice, organic applesauce, I use whole wheat pastas or spaghetti squash, organic spaghetti sauce and deer meat and eats organic hotdogs. I've had no luck switching out the apple jacks, but I feel good about everything else. And to answer the unspoken question about how much this cost: processing deer meat is less expensive than store bought beef, Publix makes their Greenwise products like his apple juice comparable to all of the "regular" products, milk is just expensive period-thankfully he doesn't drink as much anymore, it doesn't cost any extra to buy organic spaghetti sauce (obviously price varies by brand- you can get it at Sam's Club though for cheap), the hotdogs are pricey though. We pay an extra $2 per pack of hotdogs at Publix in order to have organic hotdogs. But the peace of mind it gives us is priceless since he eats more hotdogs than anything else...except apple jacks. Thank God companies like Amy's Organic, Publix, Whole Foods, Kashi, Earth's Best and others are making it easier and more affordable for us to eat organic healthy foods.
We have also changed our laundry detergent, dish soap, shampoos, bug spray and some other things. As for the price point, is just like the food; you have companies like 7th Generation that are making it more affordable to make safer choices. AND these products work better then "regular" products from our experience. Two years ago, I thought organic was a waste of money and a fad. I was uneducated, didn't understand and never would have thought I would feel the way I feel about it now. Clayton's health forced me into learning about this world and THANK GOD. I would hate to have gone any longer before making these changes in my life. Obviously we get stuck in the hospital and have to compromise on certain aspects of living organically, but we do our best. All of this is another of the good things that has come from Clayton's health issues and especially his cancer.
Maybe all of this sounds CRaZY to some people, but I believe in it and for me is a huge part of my relationship with God. Church has never been my "thing" and I'm not sure I fit into any specific division of Christianity. I believe in God and I believe in the values I hold to be true. Most of my relationship with God has been built on my educating myself on religious history, but I feel like this will be a huge point of growth in my relationship with God. I never thought about it before learning about organic/natural living, but as I have learned more and the pieces have clicked, it seems so obvious to me: what better way to grow with God than to learn to live in a way that treats all of His creations with the respect they deserve. It seems that each lesson learned making these life changes is a building block in a person's relationship with God. What better way to learn, live and believe in the power of God than to live in a way that allows you to truly come to appreciate the gifts he has given us and honor Him for what He sacrificed to give them to us.
Not meaning to sound like a religious scholar when I clearly am not. Nor am I an expert on any of this. I am learning. And since I have had a critic/small number of critics in the past let put this disclaimer: this is MY blog, these are MY thoughts and feelings and if you don't like them, no one is forcing you to read. If you are looking for someone to pick on...bad choice. My beliefs are not being pushed on anyone, I'm merely giving people something to think about. And if my previous critic/critics have any thoughts about the financial implication of buying my son organic products, let me say this...bite me! As for ending a post talking about growing closer to God with "bite me"...well, even Christians get irritated.
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